Comments on: Who Gets Their Dream?

By: barbara

barbara — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 23:16:53 +0000

I’d be interested to know how Cynthia’s husband first told her of his dream, how did he present the rving information? We all know there is a learning curve to this lifestyle. Some of us are immediately hooked right into every little rv tip we can fins, some folks prefer traveling with others, some like to go it alone. I have met fulltimers who do nothing but go to quilt shows and some who do nothing but fish. The RV is just the means by which we “get to do what we love”. For me, the people we met were the frosting on the cake! Just the best ever. But sightseeing, joining rv groups and clubs, these are the things that would be good for Cynthia to investigate. And shame on her husband if he didn’t share that kind of research with her as he was discovering what sounded good to him as a dream. I was the one who fell in love with the idea first, but knew my husband well enough that I knew he would love it 30 days out even though he dragged his feet a little. He had been a boater, so when I discovered that they call the towed vehicle a dingy, I figured that was a great opening line to sharing my idea of full time rving! It is all in how you have come to share yourself with your partner, but big ideas do need a little finesse. So put them out there, feed them from time to time, and see what develops. Educating yourself and researching your idea is one of the ways to feed your dream. Go to a park near you and talk to folks. Rvers are the best sellers of this lifestyle because they don’t do it unless they love it! Seeing how it is done will be an eye opener for Cynthia. In all my years of travel, only once did I meet an RVer who was a miserable person, and that person would have been miserable anywhere. So go check it out; you will run into someone who will say I was hesitant but I soon came to love it as much as my spouse.

By: Linda

Linda — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 03:24:00 +0000

This has been very interesting reading! Nick’s blog is one I always read every night but never have posted a comment….so this is my first comment.

As angry as Cynthia may be, I don’t feel we should be criticizing her. Wrong or right, she won’t listen to so many negative comments anyway.

By: Ed Hackenbruch

Ed Hackenbruch — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 19:00:17 +0000

I find this kind of ironic. He had to travel and she was stuck at home. Now he wants to travel and she wants to stay at home. You would think he is the one that wants to stay home and that she would want to get out and about. My guess is that if they hit the road for a year or two and if she could give it half a chance, ( which doesn’t appear likely ) and not have a negative attitude she would love it and he would probably be ready to settle down somewhere. So then they would still have the same problem but the positions would be reversed. :>)

By: nan

nan — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 18:22:32 +0000

To all of you who have claimed she was selfish or self-centered (before her post): the same could be said for him–they both want their dream. Of course, most of us reading this blog are RVers, and thus on his side, but the original question was how do both get to live their respective dreams? I think compromise in the form of part-time rving is the solution; maybe 4 months ‘snowbirding’ (or sunbirding, depending on the location of the farmhouse) and 8 months in the farmhouse–if finances will allow this compromise. After her post, I don’t know–she seems incapable of compromise. Hopefully, her post was an angry response to some of the posts here and in reality she is not that bitter.

By: Emery Nash

Emery Nash — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 16:26:06 +0000

Hmmmm…. I still stand by my original post. it appears that all the suggestions and comments that were not reactive to Cythia’s response were offering ideas for consideration. Most of these were stating or implying communication, compromise and planning as their anchor point. The first casualty of any of these suggestions has to be ”
stop keeping score!”

I do not pretend to know what has kept these folks together but apart for so many years but I do know others that have finally reached an end to it. For some that end came by a final “burned bridges” act by one or the other in a no win for anyone kind of situation.

But, a few decided to move forward towards a goal that they both actually wanted to some degree. It might not have been the top thing on either of their lists but the process of doing that has been a real baseline for their cooperative future together.

It has taken constant vigilance for all of these people to evade slipping back into the tit-for-tat internal score keeping habits that charted their individual relationships. But most have survived the life-changing experience and are still together and feeling happy, together.

They are not all RVing nor are they sitting behind a white pickett fence but they all smile at each other every day and they all occasionally ask each other “what would you really like to do?” ….. and then actually listen to the response.